One Year

How can 365 days pass so quickly?!  We've had Louba in our arms for one, whole year. It was about this time, a year ago, we were sitting in a hotel in Vladimir, Russia getting ready to make the hour drive to the orphanage in Gus-Khrustalny. We would see her care givers for the last time. See the only home she knew for three and a half years (1279 days, 110,505,600 seconds, 1,841,760 minutes, 30,696 hours, or 182 weeks). Many of you have followed our journey here, on Facebook and Instagram, or in "real" life. We're so lucky to have our village helping make sure the next years of our journey go as well as this year has. 

To recap this year:
December: a Forever family!!!
January: just adjusting to a new life; told mommy she loved her
February: First American Haircut; still adjusting
March: Started pre-school
April: Meet some new friends at our LPA regional in Huntsville
May: A great 1st Birthday party!
June: attended VBS; was a flower girl in a wedding; spent LOTS of time at the ballpark
July: Family vacation to Chattanooga, first day of school
August: Fun at the Splashpad and roasting hot dogs
September: School days and learning all about pre-K
October: A trip to the beach
November: Her first Thanksgiving
December: A visit with Santa

Our plan for Louba's Day tomorrow (December 6th) is to eat at one of her favorite places (Fazoli's, Margarita House, or McDonalds) and to listen to her sing in her first Christmas program. 

Thank you to all of our wonderful friends, both near and far, who have loved on Louba this year. We're so lucky to be her (and her bubba and sissy's) parents.

"She's PERFECT"

When we decided to adopt a "waiting child" we knew there could be problems. When we found Louba and knew her know diagnosis was achondroplasia, we expected some doctors visits. We have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams with her health. We knew achondroplasia could lead to spinal compression issues, bowed legs, spinal kyphosis (which is a spinal curve), among other things. I'm one of those who really trust my doctors. I can research all day long, but they have spent years in medical school. My thought is, I don't like non-teachers telling me how to teach, I shouldn't tell doctors how to treat. Yes, I do ask questions and voice my concerns, but ultimately, I trust my doctors.

We have been to a geneticist (Dr. John Phillips) at Vanderbilt who said she's perfect. He still wants to see her in six months (or October now) to discuss the BioMarin study in more depth. We're still not sure what our role will be in the study, but know we want to be part of it to help other children born with achondroplasia overcome some of the medical issue associated with this genetic disorder. He took spinal and hand x-rays and said everything looked exactly how it was supposed too.  He did some neurological assessments and said she did everything the way she needed too.

We've recently seen an ENT and today her orthopedic doctors.  The ENT (Dr. Wanna) said her hearing was perfect too (she has slight loss at extremely high frequency). He also doesn't need to see her again, but recommend her hearing be tested by our pediatrician in a year.

Today's visit was to the orthopedic doctor at Vanderbilt (Dr. Green). I LOVE HIM!!! He made the kids feel so at easy and joked around with them the whole time we were there. He showed me the x-rays from our April visit and said, "She's perfect! I don't think I'll be seeing her again." Her spine has NO curve, her legs are not bowed (for an achon), her back is the exact shape it should be for achon.

So, we've paid money for doctors to tell us what we already knew, she's PERFECT!!! Our God is so good! We head to the dentist, eye doctor, and regular pediatrician in the next couple of weeks before school starts back.  Our girl is a smart one too. I'm glad we stepped out of our comfort zone and brought this one into our lives. I can't imagine living this life without this fireball.

If you are considering adoption, consider a waiting child. Talk to adoptive parents who have adopted from waiting child lists (the Browns, the Hoods, the Overstreet, anyone on Reece's Rainbow website--these are just a few of the families we know who have adopted from the waiting child lists from various countries). Special needs doesn't always mean lifetimes in hospitals or doctor's offices. SN kids are just kids who need families to love and nurture them to their fullest potential.

Some helpful sites

As we started our journey to adopt, we knew that our daughter had achondroplasia. We spent weeks (and still do) researching ways to make her life better/more accessable. We also needed to know all we could about Achondroplasia and how it affected her and how it was going to affect our family. What kind of special care would she need (if any)? What things did we need to do around the house to make it safer for her to live there? Even things as basic as what kind of clothes does she need. I've read research. I've devoured blogs written by LPs and POLP (parents of little people). We also research many topics on adoption in general (attachment was the big one). Here are some resources that have helped us and I'm sure we'll go back to on a regular basis. If you are around our family, please help and educate yourself on these topics too.
LPA online (this one is for parents and teachers)
LPA online (home page)
Jaime Murphy (my cyber BFF) I have learned so much about being a parent of a little person from her.
MaryLeigh Brown (a real-life friend). Wonderful adoption resource!!!

Feel free to add your own resources in the comments. I'll update as I have time.

Over a Month Home



Where has the month gone??? It seems like yesterday that we were stepping off the plane to see all our family and friends, and here it's been over a month since we brought a little three year old home. Some things from this past month:

• about four weeks in, Louba started going to bed without crying any!!! She would lay in her bed and play with a doll for about 20 mins then go to sleep. About a week ago, she started getting out of her bed. Never being loud enough for us to hear, but out playing with things in her room. When we would check on her, she would run and jump in bed, pull the covers up tight, and squish her eyes closed as tight as she could. Our routine is this, we talk about going to bed for about an hour, she puts on pjs, turns off her own lights, turns on her sound machine to the one she wants, and gets in bed. We tried having a "better" routine with bath, and books, and brushing teeth, but it just put her in a terrible mood. We also started napping when the big kids went back to school on January 4th. Sometimes she just lays in her room, sometimes she sleeps. She sometimes cries out in her sleep, but quickly goes back to sleep.

• She loves french fries, mashed potatoes, sataka (spelling? It's a pickled cabbage, pepper mixture we got from the Eastern European store in Nashville (Alesky's)), cookies, m&m's, pickles, chef=boy-r-dee, nutella, juice boxes (aka capri-sun). She still won't try meat. Maybe one day she'll give up that control too. We don't force food. For breakfast and lunch she can eat what she wants, but for dinner she has to take one bite of whatever we are having. She usually ends up eating at least one of the things on the table.



• About two weeks ago, she slept alot one day. 12-13 hours that night, woke up and snuggled on the couch for a couple hours, a 2 hour nap, and 12-13 hours the next night. Talking to other adoption parents, it may be a way for her to deal with her grief.
• She loves Backyardigans (but just the opening sequence)

• Loves Playdoh
• Her hair has gotten noticably thicker in the past month. We started her on a gummy vitamin right after getting home since she's not eating a big variety of foods, and it has made her hair and nails thicken up.
• The girl LOVES baths and would take two a day if I would let her (or we had time).
• She's super happy when she wakes up. All smiles and kisses.
• New words:
• "That's enough"
• "Come here"
• "tickle ears...belly...feet"
• "brush your teeth?"
• "go to school"
• "no balloon" (she's terrified of a remote control shark balloon JD has)
• "kisses" and "I love you" go together. I know she doesn't completly know what she's saying here, but she knows you get a hug and kiss when you say it.
• "good morning"
• "cheerios and milk" her favorite breakfast and snack
• car, fork, spoon, plate, cup (she can identify each in English)

Personality is an understatement for sure!!Today we went back to the orphanage in the afternoon. Since it was warmer, we were able to play outside for about 30-40 mins. Vita had to go to some office about giving them our paperwork tomorrow or Thursday since the chief medical doctor was on vacation. That meant we were alone with Lyubov! Oh. My. Word. Just a little taste of what it's like to not understand a three year old speaking Russian. All three of us mostly pointed, but we had fun. We sat and swung for a while (she wouldn't let dad swing with us). She started a game of sticking her tongue out at Eric. We had a little bit of pinching and pushing, but nothing a normal three year old wouldn't do. We'll work on it when we get home.

Then, Eric found a block they could use for catch. Every time she would throw it, she would make the funniest face and SCREAM!!!! At the top of her lungs. Every time.we played on the see-saw for a while and then it was getting too cold to stay outside.

In the playroom, she knew I had my bag and wanted to color-with dad. I have been delegated to crayon holder only. When 5:00 rolled around she told the staff she wasn't going upstairs. She was determined to stay downstairs with us. We promised to go back tomorrow to watch her perform in her class program. By the way, I'm pretty excited to see this "performance" tomorrow. Well definitely have our video camera for that one.

Medicals, day two

This morning, I woke up about 4 after getting some pretty good sleep. We headed downstairs to our sausage aka hot dog breakfast. We were meeting Vita, our translator, at 9 for our last doctor visit. Once get get to the crowded medical building, we wait. Vita quietly talks to one of the nurses, or at least I think that's what they are, and she goes into the doctors office and emerges with our final signature. Difficult appointment huh? She had a few things she had to do so they dropped us back at the hotel. Eric and I both crashed and took a two and half hour nap. We're now waiting on her to go see Lyubov and get another signature from our blood test yesterday. Pretty sure robotics sleeping won't go as planned. May need a little help falling asleep. We think we can upload videos if we go to the lobby-may have to try that tonight.

Miss Personality

Day Two in "R" was a trip for Medicals and the best part, Miss Personality, Lyubov. We were able to sit down with the director for a few minutes to talk about how she had been over the past few months. We saw pictures of her from the summer with her friends, and the lady who we thought was going to try and adopt her. It was a misunderstanding. She said that if we didn't want her, then she would start the paperwork, not that she had already!! She's grown and changed so much over the past several months. Her hair is longer (yeah! they didnt' cut it), she's talking more and much clearer. We took some sparlky shoes and she immediatly had to have them on, her favorite puzzle from last time; she was much faster with it this time. Her microphone, her telephone, and some coloring books. Only "papa" could color with her, because I was busy holding the colors. She has become quite the sassy little miss too. She fussed at Eric because he wasn't coloring the flowers as carefully as he should. She did give out hugs and kisses this time. But, made sure to ask our translator if Papa would bite her!!!

Medicals

Today was the day for Medicals here in country. We had these done in Mosc... in February, but they expired every three months, so we had to do them again. This time, we're having them done in region because they are a few hundred dollars cheaper.

We set out at 9:00 to get started seeing the 7 or 8 specialist we have to sign and stamp a paper. By 12 we're already back in our room only needing to get two stamps tomorrow. I'm pretty sure our translator could have completed them without us even being here. Most of them we didn't even see! Pretty sure we would have gotten the same effect if we tossed $20 bills out the window driving down medical center parkway back home.

We meet our translator again at 2 to go see Lyubov. A couple hours to hang out and surf the net.

Court trip day 1

We've made back to "R" after almost 24 hours of traveling! Getting here was pretty uneventful. We did have to race to our connecting flight in DC. When we landed there, we only had about an hour to get from gate A to gate C. If you know DC, you know it's huge. We got to the gate just as they were starting to board. One cool thing, Michael Phelps was on our plane. We didnt see him until we were at passport control and Eric wouldn't get the camera out so we could prove we saw him. He was the only swim team member carrying a Louis Bouton bag instead of the team backpack (and he had on his Calvin klein's.

When we got off the plane, we didn't see our translator. Finally, after about 20 mins of waiting, I spotted her and we got in the car to make the almost three hour trip to Lyubov's region. I slept most of the way, because car rides here are scary!

We're staying at the same hotel as last time. It's about $100 a night, but it has breakfast, free Internet, an English menu, and it's close to a shopping mall. We could probably stay somewhere cheaper, but it wouldn't have Internet and we need that to survive the week. Again it's sweltering in here and we've had to open the window to cool it off. It's not too cold outside-maybe in the 30s? At least it was a nice walk to the mall.

When we got in, we were both exhausted. So, we took a couple hours to nap before heading to the mall for our sbarro's pizza. Yes, were in R and eating sbarros. We'll eat in the hotel restaurant one or two nights, so we'll get our R fare.

Tomorrow, we head into town to start our Medicals, get some documents notarized, and see Lyubov in the afternoon.

Now to watch the ONLY channel in English-a music channel like MTV used to be.

Court...Kind of

We received an email from Judy/Vita yesterday asking how soon could we get travel arangements and visas for court!! We should have a date soon. The earliest we will travel will be in about three weeks, but depending on the court docket, it could be longer.

What's next?
1. We get a court date!!
2. Apply for Visas and make travel arrangements.
3. Get to Vlad., see our daughter, have new "R" medicals compelted in country
4. Go to court
5. Come home for 10 days (unless they waive the wait).
6. Go back and get our girl.
If we travel on the date we hope, we'll have our girl home by Thanksgiving!!!

Frustration

I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that I have no control over when I get to bring my daughter home. I'm frustrated because I've tried to be positive about this whole situation. I'm frustrated because I need to be strong about this because there is a reason for this stupid delay. I've tried really hard to give it all to HIM. And, I think I've done well, until today. I just want to cry. no, to bawl. to scream at someone "WHY CAN I NOT HAVE MY KID!!!!" That. is. all.

June 2011

This month has been so busy; I don't know where it's all gone.

This week alone, I took the kids bowling (for FREE). We're heading back Thurday for two more free games of bowling. All we have to pay is the $1.00 shoe rental fee. If you haven't signed up, you can get free bowling for the kids all summer long all over the US at http://www.kidsbowlfree.com/. Eric and I signed up to for $24.00 we get to bowl with them, and we scored $24.00 in restaurant.com coupons.

Today, we tie dyed shirts out front. The ground was still a little wet from the storms last night, but I think they had a good time. I'll post the finished product when they are washed and worn. I lucked up and scored this $30 kit for only $3.00 at Joann's clearance section a few weeks back.

We've also been super busy with baseball. JD has a tournament almost EVERY weekend. So, we spend all weekend at the ball park Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. But, there's nothing I'd rather do than watch the boy play some ball.

We're still waiting on a court date. We found out today that our home study agency is on the "R" black list and the court won't accept our homestudy. The agency director is trying to find out what the problem is and get it fixed. If she can't get it fixed, we'll need another home study, which could take three-four more months. We know that this is just a bump. It really hasn't put us "behind"; we're truly ahead of the game. We're about 8 months in, and we were told when we started that it could take over a year to finish the adoption. Now, I would LOVe to be in the "R" country in July, but if it's not in God's plan, then we won't be. I know we will get our girl home in His time. I have faith in that. She will be home when she's supposed to be home and not a day sooner. It's just hard. You have a date in mind, and it comes and goes, and then you hit these bumps. We'll get her home.

Right now, I'm just focusing on the kids at home and enjoying my summer with them. I'm gearing up for the new year. I'll be teaching two blocks of Reading/Language Arts/Writing and one section of Reading. I'm looking for information on block scheduling so I'll be prepared and ready for those 90+ minute classes and controling 25+ 8th graders. I'm super excited about this new schedule. I love writing and teaching writing. I know these blog post aren't super well written. I usually just type as I type without any revision or real thought into what I write. It's all just off the cuff writing, my sloppy copy. :)

I've done a ton of sewing this month. I've monogramed some things for a friend, made a couple baby gifts, sewn Jules a couple outfits and made bunches of doll clothes for Emma and Julianne's dolls. Next up is a matching outfit for Jules and Lyubov and a couple pairs of shorts for JD.

Adoption update

We received word today that as soon as our facilitator in *R* has our documents in hand she can schedule a court date for us. The only additional paperwork they requested is FBI clearance- we'll register and get those done Monday. Paperwork should be in Vita's hands by this time next week. We also have to get our doctors to update our physicals which is just taking in the form and having them sign off on it. We were waiting to send in the last three documents to see if the judge requested anything else. The FBI clearance and update of dr. Physicals can be walked in when we go back sometime in July! Specifics to pray for: speeding Fedex, fast turn around on the fingerprints, and our dr. To revise our Medicals quickly with no trouble. I had trouble getting my dr to give me a copy of her license the first time.

Videos from our first trip

I finally found our flip camera and was able to pull some video from it from our first trip.

Lyubov Mocking her daddy.... She says her name right at the beginning.

Our room in Region

Happy birthday!

Lyubov Janes's birthday was May 27th. We didn't do anything to celebrate, because we are having a party when she gets home. Plus, it's just too hard. I'm so ready to have her home. To love on her. To get frustrated when she doesn't understand. To kiss her sweet cheeks. When we went in February, she was about 29 inches tall and about 26lbs (she was right at 2.5 years old.) I can't wait to see if she's grown any when we return-I'm not expecting much.

So, happy birthday sweet girl. This will be your last birthday without your forever family. I can not wAit to see you tear into your gifts when you get home.

My Dear Lyubov Jane,

My Dear Lyubov Jane,

I loved you the first moment I saw your picture. I knew that you belonged to our family; that God created you for us to love and nurture and watch grow into a beautiful adult. Your daddy and I had never seriously talked about adopting, but when I saw you, I knew it was meant for us to pursue you becoming part of our family. I never knew how much I wanted you until I saw you—saw your picture was amazing, but holding you in my arms was even better. I did not want to let you go. Leaving your country was even harder. As the miles grew further and further between us, my heart tore more and more. I knew that I would see you soon, but I wanted you right beside me on that long flight home.

When we started our journey to bring you home, we knew there would be bumps along the way. But, we also knew that all of this was in God’s plan for our family. You are our prize at the end of this long, sometimes frustrating, journey we started in October. Everything has moved so quickly, those times that we have to slow down are the ones that stress me out and frustrate me the most. I hoped that we would have you here with us by now, but that has not been in His master plan. We know that we will travel when the time is right. It’s hard not having any control over when I get to hold you and kiss those sweet checks of yours again, but I know in time I will. My faith is with our Heavenly Father that our timing is going to be perfect. You will officially become our daughter when HE sees fit.

I pray for you each night. I pray that you won’t forget us; that you will know how much we love you and want you for our daughter. I pray that you will know that we are your parents the moment we take you out of your orphanage and make our way home. I pray that you will love your brother and sister. I pray that you will run after our Lord. I pray that you will know the Word and live by it. I pray that you will forgive us for taking you away from everything that you have known for the past three years, and love what we can give you in return.

My sweet, sweet daughter, I love you. I can not wait to see the child God has created you to be. Our faith is with the one and only in this journey. We know that you are ours, forever and ever.

Love,

Mom

Peace

Thursday and Friday was a rough couple of days for me. We had gotten an email that we needed American medicals as well as our EE medicals we had while in country. I guess their eight specialists aren't enough. I tried getting an appointment with our clinic here, only to be told that I needed two back to back appointment times for a physical (I had the physical in December and just needed a "redo" on the paperwork) But, they didn't read that part in my appointment I guess. So, I canceled my appointment and my sub for the afternoon, only to see at 10:00 that they could see me with one appointment. Yippee!! Then I checked the appointment calendar and there were NONE!! UUGGGGG! So, I just tried to find another "real" doctor to see. Luckily, I was able to get an appointment with a dr. in smyrna for today, Monday. The only thing was I needed a 'new patient' appointment before I could get a physical appointment. There was a physical appointment on Tuesday-YEAH!! I went in today, and she was able to do everything--new patient and fill out the physical form and get me a notarized copy of her license-praise GOD!!! By around noon on Friday, I just had a feeling of peace (at least for the moment). I had an appointment with a great doctor and I know that we will get to our girl soon. All morning I had been in tears. I almost had to walk out of class because I thought I was going to start crying. But, all of a sudden, I was fine. No worries. Now, that's not to say I won't be screaming and pulling my hair out tomorrow, but for now, I'm good and peaceful.

And we wait...

We're ready to go back and get our sweet angel, but our US government isn't quite in the hurry we are. We were fingerprinted back in February (the 11th to be exact). we have all of our documents ready to be notarized and state sealed as soon as we get the wonderful golden ticket, the I-171h that gives us permission to bring our Lyubov Jane home. We've tried calling the USCIS many times; we've emailed numerous times and finally yesterday got the response from our officer that if she didn't have so many phone calls and emails to answer our case would move much faster. Really??? We have a few friends who went after us for their fingerprints and have already received their ticket. What gives? We've contacted congresswoman Black and our two senators to see if there is any way they can help get our case expidited. maybe we'll have that approval soon. The average wait is 75 days; we're about 30 or so in. I can not wait another 45 days to see our girl.

On the other hand, we found out we don't need a physical here since we had one done at the US clinic in EE when we were there. Of course that could change the week we go back. One thing is for sure, adoption is not predictable.

What can you do? Pray that we get the I-171h soon, That our court date is scheduled as soon as the approval gets to them, that Lyubov Jane still remembers us when we return.

Sister's Name

If you remember, we've had a time trying to come up with a name for Sister. For the past couple of months, she's been just that "sister," "little sister," and even "baby sister." Never a name of her own. The other two kids have family names and "J" names, and we wanted that for her too. We just couldn't decide. We both had our favorites, but Eric wanted to wait and meet her before we committed to anything. And, I'm glad we did. She was nothing that we picked out previously. She was her own person.

We talked about how she's been in the orphanage her entire life. She only knows those four walls. We are taking EVERYTHING away from her. So, we decided to keep her name (at least some of it). We want her to know that we love her, and that we didn't adopt her to change who she is/was. We want her to keep at least something that she knows. We know that when we take her home, she brings with her nothing that she's know for the past two and a half years. Except for her name. As soon as she becomes ours, she will become:

LYUBOV JANE ELLIOTT

pronounced: Louba

Lyubov is her given name. As soon as we met her, I knew I wanted to keep her name. It just fit her better than any name we had come up with. She was so cute and sweet when she would say it. It means "Love" and this child will be loved beyond words. Jane is a family name on my side. I search Ancestory.com for names with a "J" from both sides of our family. I kept coming across Jane and have always loved it. I remember my great aunt Janie when I was little. She was a firey red-head, and I couldn't help but love her. She passed away when I was little, but I always thought of her. Jane is such a strong name too. I want our daughter to know that she can be a strong woman when she grows up.

I'm sure she'll have her own nickname when she gets here; Papa has already decided to call her LouLou. And that's fine with me. She'll be loved no matter her name on her birth certificate. I leave you with a quick video of our day one meeting with our forever daughter. Enjoy!!!

This free photo slideshow created with Smilebox

Referral trip; Day 1

February 19, 2011
Five o'clock came way too early. We needed to make it to the airport by 7:00 for our 8:55 flight. First, we had to get ready, finish packing, get the kids up and ready, and go get mom to get her to drop us off at the airport. Only a few tears fell from my eyes. I would call that a success!!

We sat in the airport all day. Our flight to DC was the worst. We had to attempt landing twice because of the wind gust of over 40 mph. When we did land, it felt like we were tossed all over the runway. Once we finally made it into the terminal, we took a shuttle to our next terminal, which was across the tarmack-who designed this airport anyways? Then we sat. And we sat. And we sat some more. I walked up and down the terminal several times because I was so board and knew I would be sitting for 10 hours pretty soon.

Finally, our plane boards around 4:00. We got settled in for the 10 plus hour flight; a movie came on; my ear buds were in; I was ready. "Attention passengers, we seemed to have lost a generator on take off and we can't fly over open water without it. We're going to have to dump some fuel (aka so if we crash there won't be a huge explosion) and make our way back to Dulles." As we circle around the East coast area, I look out my window and see fuel being dumped out of the plane. Finally, we make it back to Dulles with emergency vehicle lights going and following us to the terminal. Pretty exciting day, and we haven't even left the USA!!!